I recently was asked what my number one piece of advice would be for a newly engaged couple. It was such a great question and one that, to be quite honest, I had never fully thought through. So I want to share my answer with you here!
My number one suggestion for anyone who is newly engaged: LOG OUT OF PINTEREST!
Ok deep breaths, friend! I’m not suggesting you log out forever. That would be silly. Pinterest is life, am I right?! But I am suggesting you log out for your initial planning stages. And I know that sounds like an impossible task, but hear me out…
Reason #1: YOU’RE ENGAGED!
If you’re creating a Pinterest board the day after you get that bling, you’re missing out on the chance to just soak in the fact that you are engaged! This is an incredibly exciting time that goes by so quickly. Take a little bit to just enjoy these moments before diving into the exhausting world of wedding planning.
Reason #2: Pinterest Is Overwhelming
When you are just getting started with wedding planning, Pinterest is more overwhelming than it is helpful. I do believe Pinterest has a place in wedding planning, but much later in the process when you are looking for specific inspiration (edible favors, rustic centerpieces, hanging lanterns, winter color palettes, etc.).
The first things you should be doing when planning a wedding are setting a budget, putting together a guest list, hiring a planner, and then securing a venue. You obviously don’t need Pinterest’s help with your guest list. As for the venue…The wonderful thing about modern weddings is that you get to choose venues that reflect YOU. And no one knows you better than you. Not even Pinterest. So instead of pinning a bunch of venue photos because they are cute and seem to be popular on social media, take a second to think about you and your partner as a couple: Think about what you like to do together. What do you value? What is something that is uniquely you? THESE are the questions that should be driving your venue selection. There are so many different options out there!
If you are history buffs, maybe look into museums, or old mansions. If you are drawn to minimalism, consider modern loft spaces. Love the outdoors? Consider a park or forest preserve. Wine/foodies? Look into some of your favorite restaurants or vineyards. Are you a travel junkie? Maybe consider a destination wedding in a bucket list spot.
If you have never been to a farm, love modern architecture and city life, and don’t own any ‘rustic’ decor, does a barn wedding really make the most sense? Or does it just look cool on Pinterest?
Hanging out on Pinterest too much before selecting a venue can be a dangerous game. For one thing, you may be pinning venues that are completely unrealistic for your guest count, your location, and your budget. That’s just setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration. And, more importantly, you may be pinning things that don’t even reflect your vibe/style as a couple. It’s so much better to do a little soul-searching to figure out what your style is before getting back on Pinterest. It will make your searches more specific (i.e., less overwhelming!) and will ensure your wedding style is cohesive, rather than a hodge-podge of different Pinterest styles.
Reason #3: Everyone’s Seen It 1000 Times
It’s an interesting conundrum…If you truly want a “Pinterest-worthy” wedding, you HAVE to stay off Pinterest. The number one ingredient in a recipe for a “cookie cutter wedding” is Pinterest. The way most photos get onto Pinterest in the first place is through wedding blogs (think: Style Me Pretty, Martha Stewart Weddings, etc.). And, when deciding what they are going to publish, wedding blogs are specifically looking for things that haven’t been done before, or things that are done in a new/fresh way. So if you want the kind of wedding that will end up on Pinterest, the LAST thing you want to do is just reproduce everything you saw on Pinterest.
The best advice I would give is to get a few ideas from Pinterest and then think about how you can put a spin on that. Can you combine a couple of ideas into something new and different? How can you make it more you? Can you adjust it to better suit your venue? How can you add a new pop of color to that overused color palette? Think about the unique resources and connections you have and utilize them to make your day truly stand out.
P.S., If you’re working with a planner, use them for this part! They are super creative and love to help you come up with unique ideas!
Reason #4: Earn brownie points with your photographer.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Pinterest is a photographer’s nemesis. Sure, it’s got some great inspiration and it’s a great marketing tool, but many clients rely on Pinterest too much. When clients come to us with Pinterest boards and ask us to recreate certain images, it puts us in a very uncomfortable position.
First, let me be blunt and say no. We cannot recreate those images. That is the intellectual property of another photographer. If I recreate that exact capture, I am essentially stealing someone else’s work.
Second, even if I was cool with stealing, that image was shot in a different setting, with different lighting, with different people, with a different camera, with a different lens, and with different backgrounds. Meaning you’ll probably be disappointed with the ‘copycat version’ because it won’t look exactly the same.
Third, and I can’t stress this enough, posing is not a one-size-fits all system. Relative height between you and your partner plays a HUGE role in what poses will work and what poses will not. If you’re asking me to recreate a specific pose, it likely won’t work unless you and the models are twins. Plus, I approach posing in a more ‘authentic’ way. I like to see how you guys interact as a couple and create poses from there. None of which would be possible if I’m trying to recreate a Pinterest pose.
And finally, if you are hiring someone whose work you love and who you mesh with personally, you should trust that they can and will create images that are just as memorable. And, even better, those images will be unique to you 🙂
Now with all that said, go shut off your Pinterest boards and start some good old-fashioned brainstorming with your partner. Once you’ve identified your unique style and found a venue that captures that style, THEN you can Pin your heart out 🙂
Happy planning friends!
xo
NJ
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